my aim is true

blah blah blah i always feel like i have so much to say and can never find the words. blah blah blah, story of my life.
i've been cracked out on tumblr for the last few days, so much so that my tumblarity is at +249 ha ha that's lame and trivial but it makes me squeal. whatever.
i went out to the blue nile with my sister on saturday, and i don't think i've ever had so much fun going out before. it's not the club scene like the pub. we walked in and it was super dark and smelled like weed and alcohol and sweat... they played a lot of reggae and old school hip hop and i suppose my sister was surprised that i was actually getting down with the get down and not being as vanilla as she assumed i was. we didn't get home until 8.... oops. mom almost shit herself, she was so pissed. we got debriefed about ourselves for about 15 minutes straight, drunk as hell standing there like "yep."
it was worth it.
things are getting complicated all over again... vicious cycles have tumultuous ends and the end doesn't appear to be in sight quite yet. i guess i'm okay with that. i'm communicating more and not being such a pushover.
the car is in the shop, i should be getting it back sometime this week, along with a "new" phone, which is really me buying a phone off my friend's sister's friend. whatever, my shit keeps turning off and it's pissing me off so yeah, new phone thanks.
i feel pretty shitty that i don't have much to say... i kind of don't want to say anything, i'm tired of complaining, although i feel like i'm kind of going in the right direction.
shit's getting real.
ha ha, whatever. i'm going to see avatar next week in 3d, i'm a little too stoked for that shit. i'm going to see it with my friend kristin and her boyfriend malcolm... always a bridesmaid, never a bride you know what i'm saying? uh whatever. they're awesome, so i don't even care really.
my room is a mess, i have dirty clothes piling up and... it's just not pretty. i guess i'll clean after i finish typing this (and tumbling my little balls off) and then do laundry tomorrow... maybe. savannah is supposed to be coming to pick me up tomorrow... like i said, we're trying to get along. i need to stop being over sensitive susie.

( it's your body taking over me )

Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

"Dreaming Of You" and "I Could Fall In Love" - Selena. Never fails. I will cry my ass off whenever I hear those two songs.

Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)



This is the first painting I completed this year. It's an albeit poor reproduction of an Audrey Kawasaki piece and I really do love it... I'm trying to nurture my creative side and this painting was the beginning of it all. I'm going to keep it forever so I can always remember to stay true to myself, follow through with my goals and do my best not to give up when things get difficult for me.

Every time I try to leave, something keeps pulling me back.

This time, there's nowhere to go. I have to stay and I can't turn my back.

This is my life... I just hope that things turn out for the best. I can't live with regret.

( Heads or Tails? Real or Not? )

So, the new thing around the house is to put off grocery shopping for as long as possible. Steven and I have been cooking cheap meals using only the ingredients we have in the refrigerator and cabinets. As you can imagine, it has helped us stretch a dollar and we are eating healthier (minus all the Christmas chocolates we've received in goody bags). I kinda feel like a down-home southern Grandma in the kitchen who can whip up a full meal using a can of Cream of Mushroom soup, bread, cheese and eggs.

Tonight, I made stuffed turkey sandwiches on focaccia. I used leftover turkey from Christmas (Eve) dinner, pesto sauce, light mayonnaise, Roma tomatoes, and a shredded Mexican four cheese blend. I am typing away on this thing while my mouth is crammed with food, joining Steven in "Mmming" and smacking lips.

We are considering starting a food blog. And I say "considering" because we're merely amateurs when it comes to the cooking world, and our recipes might be deemed laughable by some of the amazing cooks out there in cyberland. Also, LiveJournal is my blog of choice, and I can't see myself dedicating extra time to any other spot that's not as intimate as this one. But during the in-between time, I'll be posting recipes along with pictures here to share with all of you fine friends.

( Pan-fried Stuffed Turkey Focaccia Sandwich )

Christmas was spent differently this year in comparison to Christmases of the past. Steven and I skipped opening the few presents that came in the mail, saw Avatar with his dad and stepmom, and came back home to lounge around while eating Chinese take-out and watching Coraline. We have opted to hold out on fully celebrating Christmas until next week, when my mom and brother get back from their trip up North. Then, we'll make a big, traditional meal, unwrap our presents, play boardgames, and spend the evening reveling in each other's company.

Steven's parents gave us presents on Christmas Eve. We got a Keurig Single Serve Coffee and Tea Brewing System, and they gave me a prepaid American Express card. I indulged myself in spending it all online the same night it was given to me. I bought a floral printed bodysuit, a monochrome dress, and ( these: )

We took our rinky-dink Christmas tree back to Big Lots, and right after, we went on a search for a proper one. I gave up after store #3, where the only trees left were well over what we agreed on spending. I called Target when we got home; refusing to waste more gas just to turn around and leave empty-handed, and much to our eagerness to get the belated holiday shopping over with, they had a few more in stock. Voilà! About half an hour later, Steven returned with a lusher Canadian fir tree. It also helped that everything Christmas-related was marked down 50% today.

I know it sounds cliché, (and I'm past caring because I'm still every bit into the Christmas spirit), but I am looking forward to giving more than receiving. And, as nice as it is to give and receive, that's all secondary when it comes to what Christmas is really about. So, thank you, Jesus, for being born into this world thousands of years ago-- even if some don't realize or believe it, it's because of You that Christmas is loved and celebrated globally today.

Now, it's time to get cozy on the couch with the guinea babies and Steven to watch G-Force. I hope you're all happy, healthy, safe and sound, keeping warm, and doing wonderfully!

I hope that everyone has an amazing holiday and can spend it with those that they love. And even if you can't, remember that there is someone, somewhere that loves you and wants to be with you, even if you or they don't know it yet. I love you ALL and wish you all the best holiday!

Love Always,
Katrina

[Was going to attempt to bitch about something but it's TOTALLY not worth it when I'm having a nice time with my family.]

One day, a professor asked his students ‘Why do we SHOUT instead of speak when we are ANGRY?’

All the students thought for a while. One answered ‘Because we lost our cool. That’s why we SHOUT.’

Asked the professor again, ‘But the person is just right next to you, why can’t we talk softly but have to SHOUT?’

Everyone gave their opinions but none was accepted by the professor.

Lastly explained by the professor ‘When we are ANGRY, our hearts drift apart. To mask the DISTANCE we felt, we instinctively SHOUT instead of speak so the other party can hear us.’

‘But as we SHOUT, we get ANGRIER. And we felt we drift apart further. So we SHOUT even louder…’

‘It is the opposite when we are in love. Not only we do not shout, we whisper into each other ears. Why?’

‘This is because our hearts are very close, almost never apart. As our love deepen, we reach a state of communication where there is no need for words.’

‘We understand each other well enough just by exchanging look,’ concluded the professor.

‘Therefore, when we are arguing, DO NOT speak words that will make our hearts drift apart. WAIT a few days. When you feel your hearts are no longer far apart, pick up the conversation and continue from there.

I am in bed, laying somewhat fetal with cramps... at least this decided to show it's face a couple days before Christmas so Christmas won't be as horrific as Thanksgiving was. I am going to fix myself some soup and a couple of biscuits and try not to vomit everywhere. Sounds like a great fucking time, right?
Ugh.
Happy Birthday Leila my love! I hope your birthday is awesome!!!!!! Also Happy Birthday to justsomehippie !

for those in need
for those who speed
for those who try to slow their minds with weed
sunday
sunday

for those who wake
with a blind headache
who must be still
who will sit and wait
for sunday, to be monday
...

people give up on you when you need them the most. why?

I'm thinking about doing a friends cut... I just can't keep up with all of the different journals and I feel really bad about that. If I take you off, it's nothing personal at all, I just can't give everyone the time they deserve and it sucks that everyone is being supportive of me through my shit and I can't be there for everyone like I want to be. =/
If you don't mind my sparse comments, let me know. If you're indifferent, I guess don't say anything or comment, whatever you like.

Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy. This picture is pretty embarrassing, but it encompasses my personality like no other:

Day 04 → Your favorite book
and

Day 05 → Your favorite quote
"Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out." -Jack Buck

Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy